would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
