I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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