I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
