i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
