It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
