I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Randomize
