Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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