I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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