smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I can't put those talents on a resume
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
