Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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