i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
She even gives head with a lisp.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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