She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Couch. On fire.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
