so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Randomize
