when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
