i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
It's never too late to be topless.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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