I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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