Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
