Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
