I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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