jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
