Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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