Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
