That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
