Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
