do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Randomize
