the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
