I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Randomize
