I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
