I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
