I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
