i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
