Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
