You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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