Taylor Swift is so right about you.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
