Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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