you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
