I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
