That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
