you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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