Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
