Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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