Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
