Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
