youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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