Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
