we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i will never coherently bang her
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
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