butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
