i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
