Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
