Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize
