Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
