i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
