You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize