why didn't you poke me back
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
