You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
